A new app will analyze
your text messages, and it will tell your crush… it will tell you
if your crush likes you. -Yeah. -It’ll analyze it
and tell you if they like you. -GLASER: Yeah. -That’s what
you need an app for. -You know what I’m gonna
use that for? -SPADE: What? Texts with my agent. -See if they like you?
-That’s it. Or, like, president of CBS
during negotiation time. -SPADE: Right.
-You know what I mean? Like, I’ll just go, like, oh,
I’ll just text back and forth, and I’ll analyze it and go like,
“Oh, I can ask for more money -’cause this guy really likes
me.” Yeah. -Oh, right. Yeah. I sometimes…
It’s bad ’cause in the old days, I’d say, “Hey, uh…” Like, the girl would go,
“Oh, I was drunk last night.” I’d go, “Oh,
why didn’t you hit you up?” And she’s like,
“Why would I do that, silly?” If they say “silly,” -you’re dead in the water.
-GLASER: Silly. -Not good.
-That’s buddy zone all the way. I had a guy say “man”
to me recently. -Hey, man.
-Like, “Cool, man.” I’m like, “Right?” -I get called sir every day.
-CAREY: I see that. SPADE:
Sorry, sir. If you need an app to find out whether or not
someone likes you, -they don’t like you.
-Yeah, that’s true. -They don’t.
-It’s true. GLASER:
I do. Well, I think
every girl does this, that you screenshot
the text conversation between you and a guy you like, and you send them
to your friends, and you go,
“What is he thinking?” And they say nothing.
It’s all blue. It’s all you. -That’s what happens.
-He hasn’t said anything. -It’s the Atlantic Ocean.
-And they say, “None of these are delivered.
We think he blocked you. Get ahold of yourself, Nikki.” -And that-that’s how you know.
-SPADE: They’re not read. -Girls really screenshot
their…? -Oh, yeah. -My… My entire…
-I got to go. Bye, everybody. Whenever I’m going to look
for, like, a TBT to post, I’m going through
my camera roll, it’s months of just screenshots between me and men
who will never love me. -Just like… (grunting)
-SPADE: Oh, Nikki. I take, uh, I take screenshots,
too, but just for legal reasons. Yeah. I think guys put you
in podcast jail a lot. -Yeah, they do. They do.