Jambalam: Exciting New App! – BEST CONTENT EVER!!1! Ep01

Jambalam: Exciting New App! – BEST CONTENT EVER!!1! Ep01

Hi We’re Broden, Mark and Zack and we’re the creators of an exciting new startup Sometimes our health is the least of our concerns What with work dating and the ever looming threat of terror attacks? That’s where we come in presenting Jambalam Have it your way Well Jambalam is a new app that allows you to order fresh nourishing all vegan salads right to your door you get the food fast but this isn’t fast food At Jambalam, you can “have it your way” our all vegan salads are 100% custom there are literally thousands of different possibilities *sneeze* bless you Sure we can do warmer options Just press the soupify my salad button and will soupify your all-vegan salad into a delicious warm soup Jambalam… “have it your way” What about smoothies? Slam that smoothify-my-soup button and we will turn your delicious vegan salad soup into a special salad soup smoothie Yes, we now have a substantiate my smoothie solution where you can add substance to your special soupified salad soup smoothie choose from hunks of bread raw potato or various vegetable fats You can choose from olive, coconut and peanut oil Okay, how about soybean, sunflower, rapeseed and sustainable palm oil Cottonseed, palm kernel and unsustainable palm-oil Lard. Let’s go with lard. You can get lard in our vegan salad soup smoothie Sure just hit the new animal products button, and you know what now you can add milk yogurt or cheese to any of your meals Meat! We do meats now delivered right to your door You better believe that’s okay, just come to our Factory and we’ll sell you the meat from there, okay? Yeah, we’re a fucking butcher now fucking come here. We’ll sell your raw meat flank ribs wings brisket Whatever you want Jambalam have it your fucking way Well, don’t you worry about that cuz we got the old smoke house out the back here at Jambalam We’ve been cooking slow-cooked meats with ‘ol pitmaster Jim since 1967 howdy this ain’t fast food this is good food when you ain’t a pitmaster Jim … feed … You enjoy it because it’s good sure is pitmaster Jim you son of a bitch Well you can fuck right off it’s only meat for you you latte sipping cucks Never been better cunt. Too fucking easy we can do that you wanna know how? I’m your fuckin mum! We’re all you mum now! how do you like that?! Cook you some meat, fuck you dad, I fucked your dad! I just wanted to make an all-vegan salad app Have it your fucking way – what do you want from us? Fucking Jambalam! I’ll fucking…. fuck … your dad! *moaning and weeping* JAMBALAM!!! *screams* AHHHH Jamba… Jambala… JAMBALAM!!! your way Have it your way What are you doing to have it your way, I’d love to know. leave a comment and share this with your friends Share the more shares we get the closer we get to our Kickstarter over a couple of thou.. or even.. FUCK! *broken sob* FUUuuuuuUUUCCCKKKK

100 thoughts on “Jambalam: Exciting New App! – BEST CONTENT EVER!!1! Ep01

  1. I'd like to complain about this app. I ordered Strasburg with sauce on wholemeal, but that's not what was delivered to my house. Just get it through your thick heads, mates! Sorry. To be fair though, I have ordered this every single freaking day since I got the app. How do you get it wrong, champs? Write it down. You're handing out a hundred and fifty or more meals daily. You can't just commit all of those orders to memory. It's ridiculous. You're a delivery service, but it's only worth it for the customer IF THE CUSTOMER GETS WHAT HE ORDERED. I might as well go out to the store and buy it myself. Honestly, pull yourselves together.

  2. "And the ever-looming threat of terror attacks." Gold *** This video totally captures the self-loathing, selfishness that I feel whenever I order from one of these cringey-all-about-you establishments. Does Jambalam also offer home maintenance? Like to clean my pool and stuff?

  3. There's so much going on in the first 10 seconds. Broden turning his head a perfectly horizontal 90 degrees, Mark's closed eyes, the cut in the middle of the pan into a different pan. This is my favourite video from you guys.

  4. I would love to support this but unfortunately I am a frog, does jambalam have the option to swap the mum for a princess because if so I may be able to support this startup

  5. Can I get a tofu and string bean salad but replace the tofu with brisket and instead of string beans have my fathers approval for once in my life?

  6. I've just come back to this for about the 10th time and I'm watching it in a Vietnamese restaurant crying laughing into my Pho. Escalating comedy perfection but now my Pho is too salty..

  7. Did the donna boys call it "BEST CONTENT EVER!!1!" just to fuck with the titles and descriptions of dingbats who make reaction videos?

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